Shifting Truths (Sanmere Shifters Book 4) Page 10

  “Wait,” Rachel said, getting up and taking Bastian’s hand again.

  “You don’t think I should do it?” Bastian asked, narrowing his eyes at Rachel.

  “I think you have to do what you have to do. But not yet, okay? Not now. Not today. Just spend these next few hours getting to know Stephanie.”

  Bastian nodded and allowed Rachel to pull him back onto the couch. Rachel relaxed a little when Bastian agreed not to go yet, and that was when she knew that she couldn’t bear to watch him walk away from her again. Before she could stop herself, she moved closer to Bastian and rubbed her lips gently over his.

  “Rachel…?” Bastian said, his breath tickling her lips.

  She ignored him. This wasn’t a time for words, it was a time for action, and she was going to let her body do the talking for her. She knew they had no future together, but they had the next hour or so while Stephanie slept and she intended to make it the best hour of her life.

  She pressed her lips tighter against his and this time, he didn’t try to ask her any questions. He pushed his tongue into her mouth, moaning as it found hers. He reached out and pushed his hands into her hair as she shifted her position and straddled him on the couch. She didn’t waste any time. She began to unbutton Bastian’s shirt. Once it was open, she pushed it down his arms and over his hands. She ran her hands over his taut chest, relishing the feel of his muscles.

  Her pussy was soaking wet and she was desperate to feel Bastian inside of her, but she wanted to make this last. If it was the last time they could be together, she wanted to enjoy every second of it. She kept kissing Bastian while she moved her hands lower, unbuttoning his jeans. He moved his hands out of her hair, running them down her back and sides. He cupped her ass and then rested his hands on her hips as she unzipped his fly.

  She pulled her lips from Bastian’s and smiled down at him. Stepping back off the couch, she stood up, pushed his knees apart, and knelt down between them. She hooked her fingers into the waistband of Bastian’s jeans and tugged on them. He took the hint, lifting his ass from the couch long enough for Rachel to pull his jeans and boxer shorts down to his knees. He kicked his shoes off as he sat back down.

  Rachel pulled his jeans and boxer shorts the rest of the way off and took a second to peel off each of his socks. She looked at his hard cock and smiled as shivers of desire flooded through her. She moved closer to Bastian, pressing herself against the couch. She took his cock in her fist, holding it by the base, and then she kissed the tip of it. Bastian moaned and she poked her tongue out from between her lips, flicking it over the tip of his cock, tasting his saltiness.

  She parted her lips slightly, still running her tongue over the tip of Bastian’s erection. Putting her lips over it, she sucked the tip into her mouth. She opened her mouth, tucking her lips over her teeth, and then she moved her head down, running her lips over Bastian’s length. She began to bob her head, sucking and moving her lips, licking him with the tip of her tongue.

  Bastian moaned again, a sound so full of longing and desire that Rachel felt her core tighten. She kept sucking Bastian, loving the taste of him, the feel of him filling her mouth, her throat.

  She sucked him in deeper, wanting to have every inch of him in her mouth. His length hit her gag reflex and she swallowed hard, breathing through her nose until the feeling of choking passed. She kept working him, sucking and licking him until his moans were almost constant.

  She felt his hands move over her head, his fists tightening and grabbing two handfuls of her hair. He pulled gently, making her scalp sting. The stinging feeling spurred her on, telling her how turned on Bastian was. She sucked and sucked, bringing him right to the edge. His ragged breathing told her he was about to come and she finally let his cock slip from her mouth.

  She looked at it, shiny and delicious, and then she wiped her lips with the back of her hand. She looked up at Bastian. His face was contorted with frustration that she had left him hanging. She smiled and stood up. He reached for her and she danced away, standing just far enough away that he couldn’t reach her.

  She bent at the waist, grabbing the hem of her dress. She pulled it over her head and dropped it on the ground. She reached behind herself, unhooking her bra, watching Bastian as his eyes roamed over her body. She let her bra straps fall down her arms and her bra fall to the floor. Finally, she pushed her panties down and stepped out of them, and then she beckoned to Bastian.

  He jumped to his feet and pulled her into his arms with a lustful growl. His mouth found hers and she kissed him ferociously. As his tongue pushed between her lips, his fingers pushed between her other lips, finding her throbbing clit and making her gasp as pleasure flooded through her in waves of electrical pulses.

  She pressed her body against his, moving her hips and grinding her clit against his fingers. Her hands roamed over his back and his ass, caressing and grabbing. Bastian’s fingers continued to work their magic as he pulled his mouth from hers, kissing down her neck, making her skin shrivel into goosebumps as his lips brushed over it.

  He kissed down her chest and sucked one of her breasts into his mouth. He ran his tongue in circles around her nipple and the sensitive skin puckered and hardened under his tongue. Rachel moaned as the two sensations coming together overwhelmed her senses, sending her hurtling into a spiral of ecstasy. Bastian upped the pace of his fingers on her clit and as Rachel felt her climax exploding through her, he bit down on her nipple.

  She threw her head back, her mouth open, trying and failing to suck in air as her whole body came to life, tingling deliciously as pain and pleasure collided within her center. Her eyes rolled back in her head and she felt her knees buckling, but Bastian wrapped his arm around her waist, holding her against him, stopping her from falling.

  She blinked and regained her senses. She lifted her head as Bastian released her breast from his mouth and pressed it over hers once more. She gasped, breathing him in as his fingers worked her, drawing her orgasm out to lengths she had never known. She pulled her mouth from his, pressing her face into his neck as she whimpered in pleasure.

  He finally took his fingers from her as fireworks exploded in her stomach and her pussy went wild, clenching and contracting. She could feel her juices running from her, coating her thighs. She sucked in a juddering breath as her orgasm started to recede.

  Bastian gave Rachel no time to recover. He cupped her ass cheeks, lifting her. She wrapped her arms around his shoulders and her legs around his waist, feeling as though she was flying as he carried her across the room. He pressed her against the wall, slamming his cock inside of her and making her gasp once more as he filled her. She clung to him as he pounded into her, filling her up more and more with each thrust. She dug her nails into his shoulders as desire spiraled through her. Her bear began to stir, but she was so focused on the pleasure coasting through her body that she hardly noticed it. She swallowed it down more as an impulse reaction than as a result of any conscious thought.

  Bastian slammed into her again and again, and the friction of his thrusts rubbed over her swollen and tender clit, sending her wild as another orgasm tore through her body. She felt free, wild, and she gave herself over to Bastian completely as she went over the edge, trusting him to bring her back.

  For a moment, her vision went black, red spots dancing in front of her eyes. She blinked and Bastian’s face came back into focus, his eyes holding her gaze. As she looked deep into his eyes, feeling the pleasure exploding through her body, she knew she could never let him go again.

  She pushed the thought away, not wanting to think right now, only wanting to feel. Her pussy tightened around Bastian and he moaned, an animalistic sound that sent another pulse of pleasure bouncing through Rachel. She felt his cock twitch inside of her, his heat flooding her as he came with her; their moans became one.

  Finally, Rachel’s orgasm began to fade and she could breathe again. She panted for air, clinging to Bastian, her face against his shoulder. He slipped out of her a
nd carried her back to the couch, sitting down and holding her in his lap.

  She kept her head on his shoulder, breathing in the musky, earthy scent of him. He kissed the top of her head, holding her to him. She could feel his chest rising and falling as he panted, his heart racing in his chest. She smiled to herself and closed her eyes, floating on a wave of sated contentment. She felt like she had come home.

  Bastian kissed her head again and snuggled her tightly against him.

  When her eyes started to slip closed, she didn’t fight it. Instead, she welcomed it, loving the feeling of drifting off into sleep in Bastian’s arms.

  * * *

  Rachel awoke to the sound of Bastian’s quiet snores. She was still on his lap, her head on his chest, his arms loosely wrapped around her. She lifted her head and looked at him. His head was back against the couch, his mouth open, his face relaxed. Rachel smiled to herself, refusing to acknowledge the sadness deep within her at the thought of them not being able to be together after this. It would never work. She could never embrace the bear side of her the way Bastian could, and she could never join a bear pack. And she couldn’t ask Bastian to leave his pack behind for her, even if she thought he would be willing to do it.

  Tears filled her eyes and she blinked them away quickly. If Bastian woke up now, he would want to know why she was crying, and she didn’t want to have this conversation with him. They both knew where they stood with this and talking about it would only make it more painful. Rachel just wanted to cherish this moment for as long as she could before Stephanie woke up.

  Rachel kissed along Bastian’s neck, moving her mouth up it until she reached his lips. She ran her lips lightly over his and his eyes fluttered open. He smiled at her, his face still cloudy with sleep. He kissed her and then ran a hand over his face.

  “Shit. Sorry. I must have fallen asleep,” he said.

  “Well, it was partly my fault for wearing you out,” Rachel laughed.

  Bastian gave a soft, breathy laugh and nodded his head.

  “You got that right. How long have I been asleep?”

  “Not long,” Rachel said.

  She leaned in and kissed Bastian again. She felt his cock harden beneath her and she moved herself, rubbing her slick pussy over his cock until he moaned. She straddled him again, pushing her tongue into his mouth and her hands into his hair. She needed to feel him inside of her again. She didn’t think she could ever not need him inside of her.

  She reached for his cock and pressed it against her opening. She lowered herself onto it, taking him all of the way in, impaling herself on his hardness. Bastian’s eyes flew open as she clenched herself around him. He smiled at her and put his hands on her hips, lifting her up and down on him, faster and harder. Her center responded, sending pleasure through Rachel’s body as she worked Bastian.

  She moved herself faster as she felt her climax coming on. Bastian took his hands from her hips, letting her set her own pace. He moved them up to her breasts, cupping them. Her hard nipples rubbed against his palms as she moved and she felt her climax explode through her. She felt the scream bubbling up inside of her as she was consumed by pleasure. She pressed her hand over her mouth, biting down on the fleshy pad beneath her thumb and muffling her scream, conscious of Stephanie upstairs asleep.

  Her pussy clenched as her orgasm hit its peak, bringing more waves of pleasure, making Rachel’s whole body tingle. She started to coast down, enjoying the warm, sated feeling as Bastian wrapped his arms around her and held her to him as his own climax hit him.

  She felt him explode inside of her and then he slipped out of her as she found his lips with hers. They kissed, a loving, tender kiss that set Rachel’s soul on fire in a different way. It only reminded her they could never be together in the way she would have liked them to be, as a family, and she pushed herself up from Bastian. She forced herself to smile at him as she picked her panties up and stepped into them.

  “Stephanie will be awake soon,” she said to explain her sudden need to get dressed.

  Bastian seemed to accept her explanation and as she pulled her bra back on, he got up and began to get dressed too. When they were both fully clothed again, Rachel sat down on the couch. Already she wanted Bastian again, but she told herself she had to control herself around him. If he was going to be in Stephanie’s life, that meant she had to learn to be around him and not let her desire overwhelm her senses. She didn’t know how many more times she could do this and still let Bastian go afterwards, but she suspected it wouldn’t be many.

  She tried to think of something to say, but all she could think of was how she felt inside and that was a topic she wanted to stay well away from. The last thing she wanted, though, was for things to become awkward between her and Bastian, and she could already feel the tension building in the air. She was relieved when she heard Stephanie stirring through the baby monitor.

  “Duty calls,” she grinned, getting to her feet. “It sounds like someone is a little bit hungry.”

  “And we’re the ones that burned all of that energy,” Bastian smiled.

  Rachel smiled back at him and the tension left the air. Rachel went upstairs and got Stephanie out of her crib.

  “Are you ready for lunch?” she asked her as she carried her down the stairs.

  Stephanie beamed and nodded her head. Rachel went back into the living room and set Stephanie down. She smiled when Stephanie made a beeline for Bastian, who seemed equally pleased about it. On a whim, Rachel decided to ask him to stay for lunch.

  “I’d love to,” Bastian smiled. “But then I really should go. I have some business to take care of.”

  “Is it what I think it is?” Rachel asked.

  Bastian nodded.

  “And I can’t talk you out of it?” she asked.

  “No. This has gone on for too long already,” Bastian said. He smiled. “But I’ll be back later on tonight and I’d love to come over again tomorrow. Maybe we can take Stephanie to that park?”

  “That sounds good,” Rachel said.

  She went into the kitchen, leaving Bastian and Stephanie sitting on the floor, playing with some of Stephanie’s toys. She made some sandwiches and came back into the living room. She gave Stephanie hers and then Bastian came to sit on the couch beside her while they ate theirs.

  “Listen, Bastian,” Rachel said. “I know things between us are hardly traditional, and I can make my peace with that. But I was serious earlier. I don’t want Stephanie to get attached to you if you’re not planning on sticking around.”

  Bastian tried to interrupt her, but Rachel went on.

  “I know right now you think this is what you want, and I really hope it is. But I need you to be certain. So don’t answer me now. Take the night to think about it. I can never be a part of your pack and if that means that you can’t be certain that you want to be a part of Stephanie’s life forever, then don’t come tomorrow. If you don’t come, I won’t judge you and I will understand. How’s that?”

  “It’s a deal,” Bastian said. He paused for a moment and then he looked into Rachel’s eyes. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

  14

  The last thing Bastian had wanted to do after they had all eaten their lunch together was leave Rachel’s place, especially after what she had said about needing to know he was sure about this. He knew that if he had let go of the idea of going after Lewis, not only would he have proven to Rachel how important Stephanie was to him, it also would have shown Rachel that although she was right about them coming from different worlds, he could let go of his bear side and be with her too. He wanted that more than anything, but he had a duty, not just to Rachel and Stephanie, but to his pack too.

  He was still willing to walk away from the pack if that was what it took to be with Rachel, but he couldn’t do that without tying up this loose end first. And he didn’t think he could ever be entirely happy with his family if he didn’t seek out Lewis and teach him a lesson for hurting Rachel. It would always be a black clou
d hanging over his head and he couldn’t live his whole life that way. Eternity was far too long to have something eating away at you.

  As he drove through Houston, he wondered if all of this was just a dream. Even though he had decided he would walk away from the pack if it came to it to be a family with Rachel and Stephanie, he didn’t even know if that was really what she wanted. Sure, they had a connection neither of them could deny, and Rachel was willing to let him be a father to his daughter, but did she want to be with him for all of eternity? Because if they did this, it would be an all-or-nothing decision. The only thing worse than never being with Rachel would be to have her be his for so long and then lose her. If they were going to do this, he needed to know that Rachel was sure, that she felt the connection between them as strongly as he did. He needed to know that she saw herself as his mate for life.

  He knew they would have to have a long talk about this once he got back to Dallas. He had debated talking to her about it today, but he was afraid to bring it up in case she told him she didn’t want him. He was still afraid of that being the outcome of their conversation, but he knew he had to find out one way or the other and soon, before the not knowing drove him crazy.

  He just had to hope that him going back there tomorrow like he had promised her would be enough to show Rachel that he really was serious, not just about being a good father, but about being a good mate too. And then he had to hope that she felt the same way he did. It was a lot to hope for and Bastian tried not to let himself get his hopes up, but it was hard not to after the sex he and Rachel had just had. He knew she wanted him, he just didn’t know how much.

  As Bastian turned off the main road and down the dirt road that led to the Bellevue Hotel, the disused building that Lewis used as his base, he told himself that until this thing with Lewis was over, he needed to put Rachel out of his mind. He needed to concentrate only on what came next for now. Lewis was a lot older than he was, meaning he was a lot stronger, and he was cunning too. Bastian knew he would have to play this just right if he stood any chance of taking Lewis down, and to do that, he couldn’t afford to be distracted by thoughts of Rachel.